A Conversation

It wasn’t until recently that I truly realised that as people our attitudes and understanding towards death and dying are as complex as we ourselves are, and that these attitudes and beliefs vary not only from culture to culture and family to family but also from person to person within a family. 

I have thought a lot about my own beliefs and how they blend or don’t blend in with the community that surrounds me and even with my own family. I have concluded that though our beliefs and attitudes are important, equally as important is the conversations we have or don’t have.  These conversations or lack of them affect the quality of our death and the deaths of family members, as well as the quality of our mourning, grieving and celebration of life.

In 1716 Christopher Bullock coined the phrase “Tis impossible to be sure of anything but Death and Taxes” in his play The Cobbler of Preston, then in 1726 Daniel Defoe brought the phrase to life again in his book “The political History of the Devil” but it wasn’t until 1789 that the phrase really became popularised and referenced as a famous quotation by Benjamin Franklin in a letter he wrote to John the Baptise  Le Roy  where he stated “Our new Constitution is now established and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain , except death and taxes.

Each year we prepare for our taxes, why not spend time preparing for our deaths by having those conversations with our family and or significant others that express our wishes and choices. I thought I would start this blog with a discussion about my personal experience that high lights in some way why these conversations are not just necessary but important in preparing for a “good death and celebration of life”.